WLP Countdowns: Top Ten Mind$!%@s in Media

WLP Countdowns: Top Ten Mind$!%s in Media

Ryan: Wolf-Prince-Leon here...

Matty: And Kit-The-Wolfy. You okay, Ryan?

Ryan: ...You're having me do this Countdown as a Donkey...

Matty: ...is there something wrong with your brain? You're not a donkey.

Ryan: Actually LOOK at me... *is a donkey*

Matty: ...are you an idiot? I'm not having you do this as a donkey. God, you're such a moron sometimes.

Ryan: Can you fix me then?

*Ryan is restored to human*

Matty: Okay, so this one's pretty weird.

Ryan: In Media, not just Video Games, there are different kinds of Moments. Happy, Sad, scary, the whole gamut.

Matty: But then, their are times were things... just don't make sense...

Ryan: or as Matty calls them...

Matty: Mindfucks. :3

Ryan: Matty decide we needed to point out the ten ...best or worst?

Matty: Weirdest.

RYan: Then I'll handle the ones from video games for this list.

Matty: Okay.

Ryan: so, any rules? Lemme guess, At least only one per franchise.

Matty: Yeah. ou also have to explain why it's weird.

Ryan: okay, so... then...

Ryan: Let's do this

Matty: Here we go!

*Record Scratch*

Ryan: we can't even agree on a line this time?

Matty: Who says we have to?

*number Ten*

Ryan: I'm up first. In Kid Icarus Uprising, there's a chapter where Pit is no in good shape, so you get to play as Pittoo.

Dark Pit: What did you just call me?

Ryan: Fine, Dark Pit. Anyway, you make your way to the Rewind Spring to restore Pit's Wings. But upon reaching it, Pandora, the Goddess of Deceit and Calamity restores herself, after she frees herself from the wings of Pittoo.

Dark Pit: Seriously, that is the last time I wanna hear "Pittoo".

Ryan: Fine, you win, Dark Pit. Anyway, the battle starts super easy... but then... She goes for a soak in the Rewind Spring... and...

Number 10: Amazon Pandora.

Matty: ...How do you get a blue flame with crazy eyes to turn into an Amazon beauty?

Ryan: apparently by dipping it into the Rewind Spring, But you understand Why I call this a Mind*&^%, right?

Matty: Not really.

Ryan: ...IT'S COMPLETELY OUT OF NOWHERE! Who expects Pandora, a blue flame with crazy eyes to turn into an Amazon beauty?

Matty: I dunno. Besides, she was funnier as a fireball.

Ryan: but still... Amazon Pandora herself was not only out of nowhere, Lemme just say... SHE IS A PAIN TO FIGHT!

Matty: Meh.

*Number 9*

Ryan: So she's not setting the bar high?

Matty: No. There's weirder.

Ryan: leading to nine.

Matty: One of my favorite movies is actually based on Dr. Seuss, and fitting with it being October, this particular movie is... Halloween is Grinch Night!

Ryan: never heard of it.

Matty: Have you heard of "How the Grinch stole Christmas"?

Ryan: yes.

Matty: This is like that movie's... estranged younger brother. Basically, the Grinch likes to come down into Whoville whenever a sour-sweet wind starts blowing in order to cause a terrifyng ruckus- from the title, it's implied that the sour-sweet wind blows on Halloween. So, one young, bespectacled Who named Eucharaiah inadvertently stops the Grinch from causing trouble while on his way to the "euphemism".

RYan: um... ooooooooooooooooookaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

Matty: And here's why it's weird: in order to stall for time, Eucharia willingly enters the Grinch's "Paraphernalia Wagon", where a horde of terrifying creatures start hounding him and scaring the bejesus out of every kid watching the video.

Both: YEESH!

Matty: Yep.

*number 8*

Ryan: There are TOO MANY MFs in Mortal Kombat, mostly around fatalities, basically, HOW ARE THEY STRONG ENOUGH TO PULL THEM OFF!

Matty: I wouldn't know, I've never played it.

Fatalities from Mortal Kombat

Ryan: Allow me to Elaborate, Liu Kang transforms into a Dragon and gobbles down half his oppoent. Shiva Rips off her opponents SKIN! Kano Pulls out their heart. Noob Saibot pulls them in HALF!

Matty: ...the... the fuck?

Ryan: the most ridiculus is Kung Lao's Razor's edge, he throws his razor hat to the ground, in spins against the ground IN Place... then, imagine a razor sharp spinning blade tearing through your flesh, starting from your kiwis and you feel EVERY bit of pain until it reaches your head.

Percy: Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow, Ooooooooooooow!

Ryan: I DIDN'T MEAN THAT LITERALLY!

Matty: Don't look at me, Im innocent.

RYan: But these Fatalities either defies physics or require strength that NO MAN in real life wound actually have.

Matty: Jeez.

*Number 7*

Matty: Number Seven is a favorite Vocaloid song of mine: "Ward Room 305", by Hachi and Hatsune Miku.

Ryan: Dewhodidawhatchadawho?

Matty: ...Ward Room 305.

Ryan: and it's an MF because?

Matty: Here's some lyrics.

Miku's Voice: "Painting abstract pictures, the concept of aestheticism becomes more and more Monmartre
The sterilization room where the fight happened is pale and white
Clapping like ceramics, opening her mouth like a whore
Stabbing with the fork that still had cake on the ends"

Ryan: ...Yeesh...

Matty: Yup.

Ryan: NEXT!

*Number 6*

Ryan: there are a few MF's in the Kingdom Hearts, but one stuck.

Number 6: the Grid from KH 3d DDD

Ryan: This world CAN'T be a sleeping world, it's a data world, like Space Paranoids. Speaking off which, The Grid is the SEQUEL world, how can it be the source of the Original Movie world, I mean come on!

Matty: ....I dunno.

Ryan: it's rather confusing thinking through all the details.

Matty: This is KH, remember.

Ryan: I know but still.

*Number 5*

Matty: Number 5 is the defining Big-Lipped Alligator Moment. You know the one.

Ryan: no they don't.

Matty: ...Okay, let's explain it. This moment comes from the movie "All Dogs Go To Heaven".

Ryan: when Charles and the girl were snatched up by the gator's minions.

Matty: Yes. So Charlie and Anne-Marie are caught by he minions of a big-lipped alligator, who approaches them menacingly and... bursts into song?

Ryan: ...yeah...

Matty: It comes out of bumfuck nowhere, happens, and then nobody ever talks about it ever again.

Ryan: I know ONE thing that can top it!

*number 4*

Ryan: disney overall has a few MF, and with mentions going to Merlin going to Bermunda in the Sword in the Stone and Pleasure Island from Pinochio.

*Record Scratch*

Matty: But Pleasure Island was plot-relevant, and so was Merlin being blown to Bermuda.

Ryan: That's why i'm going with-

Number 4: Pink Elephants on Parade from Disney's Dumbo

Ryan: someone was CLEARLY drunk while making this scene.

Matty: Yup.

Ryan: it comes out of NOWHERE, Does NOTHING to advance the story, and is NEVER mentioned again. in fact, many youtube Top Tenners include this moment in their countdowns of the Scariest Disney Moments.

Matty: Easy to see why...

Ryan: This is one of the reason I RARELY use elephants in my stories. The Pink Elephants, makes my glad I never wanna drink, even after i'm 21.

Matty: ...just don't give in to peer pressure.

*number 3*

Matty: Hmm, number 3, number 3... I'm gonna have to go with Justin Bieber.

Ryan: ...Seriously?

Matty: Seriously. He shows up out of nowhere, garnering a buhzillion fans, and proceeds to wreak havoc. The only problem is that he's still popular, which is a mindfuck in and of itself. He's a jerk!

Ryan: NEXT PLEASE NEXT!

*number 2*

Ryan: Star Fox Adveture always bugged me, in a system of advance tech, how is their a PRIMITIVE planet devoid of technology?

Matty: Maybe technology never reached them?

Ryan: Still, It doesn't really mae the best sense.

Ryan: the Biggest Mind$*&@ in media is next but first, Recap.

Ryan: Number 10: Amazon Pandora.

Matty: Number 9: Grinch Night.

Ryan: number 8: Mortal Kombat Fatalities.

Matty: Number 7: Ward Room 305.

Ryan: Number 6: the Grid from Kingdom Hearts.

Matty: Number 5: The Big-Lipped Alligator Moment.

Ryan: Number 4: Pink Elephants on Parade.

Matty: Number 3: Justin Bieber.

Ryan: and Number 2: Dinosaur Planet.

*number one*

Ryan: You're on, Matty.

Matty: OK. The biggest mindfuck in the history of media is...

Ryan: *waits* is?

Matty: ...Aeon Flux.

Ryan: ...you lost me.

Matty: Aeon Flux is about a woman of the same name, working as an assassin to overthrow the oppressive technocrat named Trevor Goodchild. Or, at least, that's what it's SUPPOSED to be about. It's laden down with a lot of mind-screwy moments, including Aeon Flux being killed. Repeatedly. I can't even describe it that well.

Ryan: yeesh!

Matty: You say that a lot.

Ryan: Sorry. Well... i'm Wolf-Prince-Leon

Matty: And I'm Kit-The-Wolfy!

Ryan: See ya! we're off to bed.